What does happiness and pleasure look like if I don’t need or want more material gain?
What does prosperity look like if I don’t need material prosperity?
Hi Everyone, Welcome to The Studio.
This article was such a pleasure for me to write. It’s one of my favorites, and it led me to discover Jon Jandai (beautiful man), whom you will meet at the end of the article.
Pleasure me not.
Pleasure me not with physical means; for it does not.
I don’t know what pleasure is (anymore). I’ve simplified and simplified. I’ve minimalized, minimalisted, and then some.
I’ve downsized from mountain top pleasures (rather exotic ones), to the simple pleasures of smell, warmth, and the taste of black, organic, oily, roasted coffee beans – lingering in the experience of a ritualistic coffee pour-over….and I ask…what the hell am I doing?!$%
Is this what I exist for? A self-indulgent experience of pour-over coffee?
And we have conversations about it – about where to get the best coffee beans.
Where-to-get-the-best-coffee-beans…did I just hear myself say that? What the hell am I doing?
I know (knew) the pleasure of backyard barbeques, of laughter, and of silence and solitude…and I still ask myself…what the hell am I doing?
I know (knew) the pleasure of music, dance, and play. The pleasure of friendships and family. Of sunsets and all that arises. I know all this, and I still ask…what am I doing?
I even know the Grace of God…and I still ask…what am I doing?
I even know the Grace of God…
What am I really doing?
I’ve given to charities – but somehow I haven’t given of myself- and I’m not sure I know what that means.
What the hell am I doing?
Such an interesting choice of words. That I question if I am in hell amidst all these so-called-pleasurable-doings.
Confused a bit I am. I don’t know what happiness is (anymore) – and somehow this is where I need to be. In the not. In the not knowing so I will know.
I ended up at the end – sooner than expected – at the end of my senses – so it leaves me a bit confused. At the end of what some call physical prosperity – in that the physical doesn’t feel prosperous. Doesn’t please me. Not pleasure.
Prosperity. To flourish. To thrive. Thriving I am not.
Plasir. French. Pleases me not. I’ve tried.
What pleases me?
Caught off-guard. Assumed I would be entertained by the pursuit of material gain a while longer. Or at least of a sensory means. Of which I am not.
What pleases me?
I know more of the nots. I know what pleases me not – which begets the question of the do.
And somehow, I knew. I knew I would arrive. Here. At the end of this pursuit. At the end of this pursuit of so-called-happiness. At the end of material wealth – at which I never really arrived and somehow knew I would surpass.
Because I knew it would cost me time – too much time. Time is my greatest resource, my greatest asset- it would cost too much. Too much time to pursue the path of material wealth. Never seemed like a good market for exchange.
I have some materials – but wealth I have none.