Category: depression

 

 

Let 2020 be on you.

 

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“Let this year be on you, guilt-free,” she told me, and now I am sharing those words with you.

And it’s what I’ve been telling clients this year. Slow down…give yourself the entire year…you’ll get there. 

Offering mental spaces of hope and inspiration as to the value of committing oneself to 2020 differently. Offering a means to acknowledge that they (you, me, we), in and of ourselves, is a worthy aim.

To let go of unnecessary attachments and obligations (including mental and emotional obligations) (if just for this year) in order to commit deeply to the saving of one’s self – to save one’s dignity, self-respect, and integrity, or if nothing else, to give ourselves a year to gain some dignity, self-respect, and integrity.

To let 2020 be a retreat from such attachments and obligations – and because there is nothing selfish about it – if anything, it’s the utmost loving thing to do for yourself (you are worth it), and you will be worth more to those you love and care about.

To give ourselves the chance to be worthy, valuable, useful humans. To give ourselves the chance for a life of priceless matters. And if we learn this for ourselves, can we, just maybe, give more of that which is priceless to others.

 

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A New Years’ resolve (to re-solve) – to find solutions to exist differently. 

My plan is to give myself the gift of 2020 – and I am encouraging clients to do the same.

The potential this year has to change the entire course of our lives, has a spark of excitement; priceless excitement – excitement for possibility, excitement for “nothing” because nothing has happened yet. And the beauty of seeing my clients (who have struggled with addiction) find excitement in ‘not-instant-gratification’…is priceless.

To give myself the gift of clear vision, 20/20, (which may not come until the end of the year, and that’s okay), I’m going in blind.  And because this so-called-life-sabbatical (if you will) is different in that I don’t plan to return to the same existence after a year. My plan is not to go back, but to propel myself forward to a new existence.

And I will give myself the entire year – to recover from insignificance, and to build a new existence. To move beyond my constitutional rights and freedoms to pursue happiness via materialism, consumerism, economic opportunity, and all that jazz.

To find new freedoms from limiting, insignificant pursuits of happiness (that now come at a large cost to my soul – and is not worth it (to me)) and to start a new pursuit of significance.

Much like the Founding Fathers of America, I am in search of new land, new territory, and in search of a new America within me.

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Over the past few years, I have found myself in nothing less than an existential crisis: packed with all the usual questions of meaning, purpose, value, and importance.

I am in a crisis of insignificance. Insignificance has plagued my life. Starving for that which is significant.

I am in a crisis of consumption, uselessness, and status-quo. Starving for new creations, worthy ideas, and innovation.

I am in a crisis of ingratitude. Starving to live and be grateful for the life in front of me.

I am in an existential crisis, starving for a new existence.

Starvation is a crisis.

And thus I take this year to retreat. To retreat from the world as I know it. To give myself a year – to save myself. To give myself the chance to exist differently. To allow 2020 to be “on me” – my focus, my attention, my aims, guilt-free. And to offer myself as a means of supporting others in the same pursuits.

To take myself up on what I wish for others…

I wish for you to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and to see if you can learn what it has to teach, and so not, when you come to die, discover that you have not lived.  – inspired by Thoreau  

L.