Excerpt: For many clients in addiction recovery, the experience of boredom will surface. Boredom, if not taken seriously, is a fast track to relapse.
When we remove elements of our life that we no longer have interest in (i.e. drugs, alcohol, people, places, and things) we are left with “empty space” — and many of us, not skillful with the use of our time, will call that empty space boredom.
A larger truth is that the empty space is a luxury — it’s a gift — and if we can start to see it this way, our lives have potential to dramatically change.
A large part of recovery rests in the physical body.
Here’s a perspective I hope you can start to embrace.
A Grace-Filled Beauty Routine
The morning reality check: this body will be ash one day, and until then, I thought it would be a good idea to start appreciating and enjoying this body while I still have it — while I am still in it.
Time in a body-bottle: to appreciate the time in this body. My body holds 49 years. There is history in this body. Glorious stories this body can tell. This body holds its very own epic tales of horror, drama, comedy, romance, and adventure.
“Let this year be on you. Guilt-free,” she told me.
And it’s what I’ve been telling clients this year. Slow down…give yourself the entire year…you’ll get there.
Offering mental spaces of hope and inspiration as to the value of committing oneself to 2020 differently. Offering a means to acknowledge that they (you, me, we), in and of ourselves – is a worthy aim.
To let go of unnecessary attachments and obligations (including mental and emotional obligations) (if just for this year) in order to commit deeply to the saving of one’s self – to save one’s dignity, self-respect, and integrity – or if nothing else, to give ourselves a year to gain some dignity, self-respect, and integrity.
To let 2020 be a retreat from such attachments and obligations – and because there is nothing selfish about it – if anything, it’s the utmost loving thing to do for yourself (you are worth it), and you will be worth more to those you love and care about.
To give ourselves the chance to be worthy, valuable, useful humans. To give ourselves the chance for a life of priceless matters. And if we learn this for ourselves, can we, just maybe, give more of that which is priceless to others.
This quote by Joseph Campbell is one I often use with patients. I present the quote, sit silent for a while and allow them to contemplate the words. The quote opens inner doors most of my patients have never entertained and we begin to explore what the words mean. At some point, a proposition is made as to whether they want to use their journey of addiction as this privilege of a lifetime.
Fear and anxiety are attempts to get our attention so we can overcome, heal, grow, and move forward in life. The longer we avoid their nudging, the louder and messier they become. When we can bring our awareness to that which calls our attention, instead of fighting or fleeing, we are drawn into health, freedom, and courage.
I get painfully fascinated with how much goodness is in our daily lives – in the mundane activities – right in front of us every day, but we miss it. And we wonder why our lives feel dull and lifeless. But it doesn’t have to be this way.
Rumination is a mental habit which leads to a fixation on flaws and problems, thus extending a negative mood.
With continued attention to our problems, we become obsessed with our pain and can retreat from life. We stop eating (or eating more), sex drive disappears, sleep is disrupted, we are tired all the time, life is dull, and we do less and less.