Instead of calling yourself an addict, you might simply consider that some things need to change, that you could benefit from learning a few things about yourself and about life, and you might start doing something about it. Then after some time, you would fix your life. Then you might look back and simply say, “Yeah…that was a really difficult time.” And you could do all this without giving yourself a lifetime sentence of being an “addict”.

Hi Everyone…welcome to The Studio today:)

Our guest today is Lera Boroditsky. Lera is a cognitive scientist, whose TED Talk has received a lot of attention.

Why all the attention? Probably because our current state of affairs seems to be in a language war — a war of ideas, thoughts, tweets, and opinions.

As I’ve been watching the vocal outrage, I’ve become fascinated with the…what some philosophers (Jacob Needleman (my fav!)) would say, and to paraphrase; “As a culture, we have been consumed with materialism for decades, when we are really starving for ideas. With that said, I agree, we seem to be starving for ideas — for new ideas — however, not all ideas are good ideas.

For over ten years, working with addiction, I have YET to meet a client for whom it was a good idea to call themselves “an addict.”

It’s a good idea for insurance companies — a good idea for professionals making money from you — a good idea to keep treatment centers open — a good idea to “keep you coming back” —but not a good idea for the individual.

It’s simply a bad idea to call oneself an addict. 

For the individual, it has more to do with understanding the science of language: language shapes the way we think, and these thoughts and perceptions create our daily life.

One of the first lessons I learned when I decided to quit smoking cigarettes is to think of myself as a “non-smoker” — this is what hypnosis does (not that I had hypnosis to quit smoking) it digs into your unconscious to reprogram thoughts such as this.

I’m not a smoker= I don’t smoke.

It makes no sense for me to tell myself I am a smoker to keep me from smoking. It makes no sense for me to tell myself I am an addict to keep me away from certain drugs or alcohol.

I’m not an alcoholic = so I don’t abuse alcohol.

I’m not an elephant tranquilizer user = I don’t overdose.

I am a non-drinker, a non-drug user = I don’t engage in such activity.

I don’t say; I am a smoker who doesn’t smoke anymore or I am a drinker who doesn’t drink anymore.

YOU ARE CONFUSING YOUR INNER SYSTEM. It’s self-defeating psychology. This type of mental programming is not a good idea.

It’s actually more true to claim oneself NOT an addict if you are not engaged in the addictive behavior.

Not in your vocabulary.

What if the word “addiction” or “addict” was not in our vocabulary? (as noted in Lera’s talk about certain cultures not having specific words to reference)

Or as Lera’s explains at the beginning of the talk: what if you never had the thought…that you were an addict?

Someone “gave” you that thought.

Think about this.

Think about it to such a degree that you would have to use different words to define your experience — and when my clients do this, we usually end up with just that: an experience.

Instead of calling yourself an addict, you might simply consider that some things need to change, that you could benefit from learning a few things about yourself and about life, and you might start doing something about it. Then after some time, you would fix your life. Then you might look back and simply say, “Yeah…that was a really difficult time.” And you could do all this without giving yourself a lifetime sentence of being an “addict”. 

If you are no longer engaged in unskillful behaviors, how useful is it to give yourself an identity or an attachment to that which no longer exists?

It’s just not a good idea.

NOT to mention that biologically your cells regenerate, thus at some point in time, it becomes a biological lie that you are “an addict”.

Intention vs Punishment

As you can hear from Lera’s discussion on language, when we attach individual blame to the language of “I” or “them” “he or she”, without taking into account human intention…well, again, it’s just not a good idea to use language in this context.

This is an example of using language that is not useful and can cause harm. It’s not useful to say, “I am an addict, or “he/she is an addict,” and ethically speaking on a human dignity level, actually causes harm.

To understand and use language that supports a change to the intentions underneath the addictive behavior is more helpful, wise, and sustainable, whether individually, in groups, or in society.

Much of my work in addiction is to throw elements of blame, punishment, shame, and labels out the window in order to not only meet the intention underneath the unskillful behavior but to actually meet the human underneath.

Then….the work is more about cleaning up that intention, increasing human dignity, and to stop punishing ourselves with language.

It’s simply not useful to repeat: “I am an addict”, it’s not helpful language — what is more helpful is acknowledging there is some unskillful, unwise, not useful behavior going on, and to meet the behavior accordingly.

Enjoy Lera’s talk. May you find some useful wisdom for yourself.

Laura 

Intent & Practice: increase awareness to the science of language & practice playing with the idea of not having the words addict or addiction in your vocabulary. What would be different for you?

* Laura C Meyer, MS,  is a therapeutic mindfulness instructor and founder of Live More Studio. She writes about mindfulness for addiction and mental health and believes people deserve more than the mainstream.

This website is designed as an educational experience. It is not therapy. The information acknowledges that while medication is a viable treatment option, it is not the only solution. Disclaimer